Very relaxed today which is brilliant but not surprising after a good nights sleep, woke at 8 am one bag of thc vapour later and I happily slept until 10 am which was just great.

Then Richie did his morning magic on the legs and TLC,THC and pills and of course as soon as I awoken again I heroically did the arm exercises.

What a woman I am blimey almost was nice about I better watch out could start to be kind and gentle with myself instead of being so critical all the time.

Not sure why I have to be so hard on myself when I am, never like that with others then as Richie says I often dig very deep to see the good in someone.

But with myself no way no slack never ever so why do I do that really do not understand that.

There is no gain only pain as it reinforces the old messages from childhood that I am useless and nothing good will ever come of me which I had thought I had long rejected.

Funny how these old influences still linger like an unpleasant smell.

Am determined to stop being harsh with myself plan to start complimenting myself at first it will be mechanical and then it will become part of the routine that I can accept myself as a capable intelligent woman.

Am very optimistic it will work feel good today it is a lovely day sunny and warm with gorgeous blue skies.

Intend to enjoy it very much hope everyone has a good day too.