Wednesday, April 22, 2009









Very relaxed today which is brilliant but not surprising after a good nights sleep, woke at 8 am one bag of thc vapour later and I happily slept until 10 am which was just great.

Then Richie did his morning magic on the legs and TLC,THC and pills and of course as soon as I awoken again I heroically did the arm exercises.

What a woman I am blimey almost was nice about I better watch out could start to be kind and gentle with myself instead of being so critical all the time.

Not sure why I have to be so hard on myself when I am, never like that with others then as Richie says I often dig very deep to see the good in someone.

But with myself no way no slack never ever so why do I do that really do not understand that.

There is no gain only pain as it reinforces the old messages from childhood that I am useless and nothing good will ever come of me which I had thought I had long rejected.

Funny how these old influences still linger like an unpleasant smell.

Am determined to stop being harsh with myself plan to start complimenting myself at first it will be mechanical and then it will become part of the routine that I can accept myself as a capable intelligent woman.

Am very optimistic it will work feel good today it is a lovely day sunny and warm with gorgeous blue skies.

Intend to enjoy it very much hope everyone has a good day too.

9 comments:

Living Day to Day with Multiple Sclerosis said...

I am proud of you. It is perfectly ok to put yourself first. I know it is hard to do but you need to. In time, by complimenting yourself, YOU WILL OVERCOME YOUR PAST DEMONS!!!! I have demons to that I have been working on for a few years now. I will do good for a long time but then there will always be days that set you back and make those demons shine through. However you pick yourself back up and start over.
Enjoy your beautiful day today!!!

Herrad said...

Hi Tara,

Thanks for coming by.

I think that I can do it this time and your support is really good brilliant thanks again.

Have a great day.

Love,

Herrad

Stephany said...

thanks for being so inspirational and talking about how i am the same way--my inner critic gets pretty negative, i like the idea of being positive and affirm yourself to make it a habit to compliment yourself every day.

i hope your day was a nice one, i have just gotten out of bed and am baking blue berry muffins, while koda is in the distance with that old blue ball of his, growling to protect it. ha! aren't they funny

Herrad said...

Hi Stephany,

Blueberry muffins how yummy can almpo0st t6aste them.

The day has been very pleasant here.

Have a goo0d one too0.

Love,
Herrad

Stan said...

Dear Herrad:

I guess you have got the good habit thing going on, because your post and expression of self is such a strong and calming influence on so many.

I wish I could bear that pain you feel for just a day; yet I know this can not be.

So you carry it as a torch and fight on. Thank you for just being you. {Of course Richie gets a shout out and some credit also} {wink}

By the way, I believe there is a Big Rat in the photo's stalking you, or Richie has a New Fan Club member.{Laughing}

Stan

Stephany said...

can you believe after the 70's warm and sunny yesterday it is now grey and raining! koda has declared begging and barking for blueberry muffins is his main goal of the day! :)

Taxingwoman said...

herrad

How can you say you are useless when you keep me in good reading (and photos)with your blog ?

Look at all the people who think they have a good purpose, when all they are doing is screwing up the world.
I'm the last person who should tell anybody to forget the past and live for now, as I find it hard to do .I still think it's a good philosophy ,so let's keep trying :)
I don't sound preachy do I ? because that's not my intention

Bye
Carole

Libby said...

herrad, your day sounds like it's great, as long as you're not all stiffened up...people that have no health problems have no idea how great it can feel sometimes to wake up & feel 'normal'! oh, & by the way, stephany....can you deliver me some of those muffins please?? ;-)

Herrad said...

Hi Stan,

Thanks for coming by.

Thats not a rat thats Michael Jackson lying low before his concerts in London.

Hi Stephany,

Did Koda achieve his goal and5 score a blueberry muffin?

Hi Carole,

Thanks for your comment, you are supportive not preachy.

Hi Libby,

Thanks for coming by, lets all get some blueberry muffins.

Love,

Herrad