Saturday, July 31, 2010
Kirstine's Scotland Photos
Strange how difficult it is to go out, guess it has been ages now, since August 2008 that I have had to stay indoors and I need to take it slowly one day at a time.
Had not expected to feel like that as my first time outside was end of April, and then I went out quickly before I had a chance to think about it and panic.
That is why getting so worried yesterday took me totally by surprise, it happened just before we went outside, when we were leaving the building and got out into shade and a cool wind it occurred.
Think now it was good that my panic happened, as we have talked about it and now I know what to expect I can cope better.
Always good to talk especially about things that are worrying so that I do not worry about worrying which is an awful thing to get stuck in.
Today I am glad my panic happened as I am now more aware, that I am trying to put myself back into life outside of my bed and the bedroom.
Now I am not surprised that April was no problem I was up for it yesterday and charged out saying that I would do my exercises when we returned.
Yesterday we had a visit from Marianne and then Johanneke my occupational therapist and by 16.00 pm I had plenty of time to worry which I did.
Thanks to Richie’s encouragement and support I got round the bock with him and the dogs and got to sit in the sun which lifted me.
I badly needed a boost, going out for the fourth time this summer somehow was more loaded than the other three times.
Guess yesterday was also tinged with frustration that I had not managed to get out more this summer as we had hoped and expected.
The three setbacks have been quite demoralising and being back in bed three times shrunk my world.
So yesterday finally getting out was almost too much for me to cope with glad that with Richie’s love and support I did cope.
Look forward to having many more trips outside this summer