Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Only Way For Me To Be.
Every day I repeat and reconfirm that I will not try to predict the future, will not try to work out what is coming next for me.
No point in doing that it would be a waste of my time, notice that I do have to keep that in my mind every day.
Have to remind myself at all times as it is so easy to start thinking what if and to get all worked up about nothing.
Perhaps even get so upset that I get extremely stressed, stress is not good for MS it just exaggerates everything.
Need to reconfirm daily that I will remain my optimistic self, the one that enjoys life despite or sometimes even because of this horrible disease.
I have always been a woman who likes to enjoy, always looking for a reason to have a party, love spending time with friends enjoying ourselves.
It is such a Trini attitude, think that despite having left Trinidad when I was just eleven years old I am still very much a Trinidadian.
Noticed that when I was there in 1997 how much at home I felt, it was a wonderful feeling to have especially as we had left in 1962.
Thirty five years might have gone by but my feelings for the beautiful island were all still there, it was amazing to experience.
To feel all the pieces falling into place and to have confirmation of who I was and where I was from was stunning.
As the customs official said at Piarco Airport when I complained at great length about having to declare an invisible suitcase, it was in Barbados, he said ‘’what took you so long coming home darling’’.
Knowing about my roots helped me to find and to understand myself better, it made sense of everything.
Reconfirming my intentions daily to remain myself and to stay in the here and now and not to get too far ahead of myself is a good thing for me to do.
It is in fact the only way for me to be.